Rape is different

Why is “rape” different?

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What makes rape different from other crimes? Why is it that we seem to have a greater horror of rape than we do of murder? And is this attitude towards it even rational?

I’ve got a friened whose daughter was murdered. NO sexual activity took place and the guy was eventually caught and sent to prison. She actually said to me that would RATHER her daughter HAD been raped but NOT murdered.

I think that’s a completely RATIONAL attitude. Like me, she thinks her daughter’s murderer OUGHT to have been executed instead of sent to jaia. She also thinks that rape is NOT as serious a crime as murder.

That doesn’t mean that I think it’s a trivial matter. Nor does it mean I don’t CARE about women (or men) who get raped. Christ, I’ve BEEN raped myself so I’m not exactly coaching from the sidelines!

Anywya, let’s look at what it IS that seems to make rape a crime of particular horror to so many people. In the first place, IMO, it’s the voyeur in us. It gives a sort of prurient, salacious “edge” to the crime that you don’t get with most offences. Who gets turned on by reading about a Mafia hitman shooting dead a rival mobster? But when a girl gets raped…

Then there’s the frisson of fear. Reading about a rape gives you that shivering feeling and raises your goose pimples (goose bumps). Fear is a huge sexual turn-on for many people.

Then there’s the feeling of helplessness. The woman lost her power to resist and was forced to submit to the man. That’s a huge turn-on as well for many of us.

You’ve also got the appeal of violence. Although MOST rapes AREN’T violent (mine was) when you read a case that ISN’T like that you’re almost disappointed. Violence can also be a huge turn-on.

Now let’s look at other ways in which rape is “special.” You DON’T ask a bank manager if he WANTED to be robbed (unless you’re a cop who thinks he was in on the heist and looking for a piece of the action). You DON’T ask someone who’s been mugged in the street whether they WANTED to be mugged or they really WANTED to hand over their money. You DON’T ask a victim of a violent assault if they WANTED to be beaten up.

Why then do we ask a woman who says she’s been raped if she DID enjoy it, want it, ask for it, contribute to it by her own behaviour, or even INCITE it? Why do we ask these questions about rape and NOT about other types of crime?

The answer IMO is a complex mix of factors. In the first place (I’m quoting British figures here) only 8% of rape claims involve strangers. The other 92% involve husbands, boyfrieneds and friends. It’s more difficult to persuade people (rightly or wrongly) that it WAS rape when there were already clear bonds of mutual AFFECTION between the two parties.

Secondly, there’s IMO an understandable attitude that the woman is trying to evade and sort of responsibility for her actions. Why SHOULD she think she can dress like a slut, talk dirty, get drunk, parade about like a whore and yet NOT take any responsibility for the CONSEQUENCES of her actions if it goes pear-shaped? A girl like that ISN’T a VICTIM of rape IMO; she’s either a slapper who WAS asking for it and got what she REALLY wanted in a guilt-free way or else she was a prick-teaser who tried it on with the wrong bloke and came unstuck.

Let’s be honest here. A heterosexual man and woman are at some point BOTH going to want to have sex, even if NOT with each other. And being a prick-teaser is actually a form of BULLYING by the girl. She’s saying, I know you want me but you can’t have me and I’m gonna rub it in your face that you can’t. Most blokes just ignore that sort of thing but SOME get so mad that they decide to punish the girl for her behaviour by raping her.

What happens in those cases is very similar to what happens when a victim of bullying can’t take any more and snaps. (I speak from experience on that one; after a year of being bullied at school I snapped and nearly killed the bully. It took six kids and three teachers to pull me off of her else I’d have killed her!). Just like a victim of bullying can go over the top and be more violent than the original bully was, so a victim of prick-teasing can snap, go over the top and rape the girl.

So whose fault is it then? It’s obviously the bully’s fault if he or she gets done over by their victim.

In the same way, it’s the fault of the prick-teaser if she does get raped. Without the initial bullying, the victim would never have snapped. Without the prick-teaser, the girl would never have got raped.

If she’d acted decently and not led the bloke on nothing would have happend. Slo, whatever way you look at it, it’s her fault she got raped. She bullied the bloke and he snapped. You could almost look on it as an act of self-defence!

I know a lot of peoople are going to find what I’ve just said (at best) sad, at worst sick and disgusting.

Even as I write these words myself I can hardly believe how they sound.

I’m now going to talk about the cases where it clearly is the case that the woman dressed decently, spoke well, didn’t behave like a tart and wasn’t drunk or high on drugs.

How do we explain them? In the first place, 9 times our of 10 they will be attractive women of child-bearing age and will be far more likely to experience rape as a traumatic experience than older and less attractive women.

I remember one of the elderly victims of a rapist in London being interviewed about her experience (she was in her 80s) and she was actually giggling as she described her rape.

Those cases, though, are a minority of rapes and (for some obscure reason) almost always involve black men. It’s very unusual for a white male to rape an elderly woman. (Not that most blacks do it either, of course!)

Genuine rape cases, to judge from the fact that MOST complaints brought to the police are thrown out after further investigation or else withdrawn by the woman herself), are a tiny proportion or REPORTED rapes.

In 95%of the cases when rape claims DO come to court, the defendant is found NOT GUILTY.

DNA evidence has also exonerated hundreds of men who were WRONGLY convicted by showing that it was IMPOSSIBLE for them to have committed the rape in the first place.

Whatever way you look at it, that means that the MAJORITY of rape accusations are FALSE – either through conscious and deliberate LYING or else through misunderstanding.

Is it worth spending so much time, money, energy and resources into pursuing such a rare crime?

Just playing Devil’s Advocate again LOL!

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Evil rape accusers

Are women who report being “raped” evil?

Are women who report being raped evil? That’s the challenging question I found thrown out on a message board I belong to recently. Here’s my answer.

In a way the closest PARALLEL crime to rape is NOT something like murder or mugging, but theft. What the rapist is doing is in effect TAKING the woman’s body and using it for his pleasure WITHOUT her permission. In a way he’s a kind of “sex burglar” rather than some sort of serial killer.

Of course, the LOGIC of that position is that rape is NOT a “crime against the person” but a “crime against property.”

That then brings up the question of what we mean by property and whether it IS just the woman’s right to “own” her body.

For instance, if you’re married or in a relationship with a guy, what’s the “property” status of your body?

Have you “given up” or at least “leased” some of your “ownership rights” to your body by the act of marrying or entering into a relationship?

And if you’re one of that tiny minority of “stranger rapees” then has your hubby or boyfriend got a right to sue the rapist for stealing his property?

It raises a whole series of fascinating legal and moral questions.

For one thing, if you look on sex as a business transaction in the sense that the woman “owns” her body and “owns” the right to allow men to use it sexually, doesn’t that mean that ALL sexual behaviour, consensual or not, is simply an act of prostitution?

And if we grant that the legal “ownership” of her body belongs to a woman, doesn’t that ALSO raise legal questions about the “ownership” of the male sperm?

If we say that the woman’s eggs belong to her, so too does his sperm belong to the man. Whether it’s rape or consensual sex,, he’s “giving” something of himself to the woman in the act of fucking her.

So what about the legal rights of the “sperm donor?” If you’re going to look on the egg as a woman’s property, you have to also look on the sperm as the man’s property.

Because the man’s sperm fertilises the woman’s egg, that makes a new and far more complicated issue when we’re talking “ownership.”

It makes, for instance, the question of abortion a moot point. You can say “it’s a woman’s right to choose what to do with her body,” but by the act of aborting a foetus for which the man was equally responsible, isn’t she “stealing” something from HIM?

Now let’s turn to the feminist idea that rape isn’t about sex but about power.

Interesting, then, that MOST women who get raped tend to be attractive and aged between 18 and 35 years old, the very time we’re at our optimum period for breeding.

Interesting also that women in THAT age bracket who get raped are MORE likely to be upset about it than older women who go through the same experience.

Interesting also that a woman who gets raped is slightly MORE likely to get pregnant than a woman who has consensual sex.

In the animal kingdom, “rape sex” is pretty much the norm. There’s a certain type of scorpion, for instance, that has an appendage that is PURELY designed to hold the female helpless during the act of sex.

Now let’s say what I think about why women who report rape.

Do I feel that a woman who’s LYING about being raped should report it?

Hell, no.

Do I feel that a woman who’s so drunk she can’t even remember much about what she did except that she had sex report it?

No, I don’t.

If you can’t control yourself then you’ve got to be ready to take the consequences.

Doi I feel that a woman who wanders around rough neighbourhoods dressed like a slut and gets raped should report it?

No, I don’t.

If she’s so fucking stupid that she can’t see the likely dangers of behaving like that then she’s only got herself to blame.

I hate the way in which some women refuse to take responsibility for their actions. (And men too, of course).

It’s a fucking cop-out to say “well, I got pissed, dressed like a slut, talked like a toilet and behaved like a whore but I didn’t expect to get raped just because I did that.”

Grow up, girl! What the fuck else did you expect?

I know what it’s like to be raped so I DON’T talk out of ignorance.

I also know that it was MY fault it happened.

I WAS pissed as a newt, dressed like a slut, talking like a whore and behaving like one. I was also giving out mixed messages.

I know what happened to me WAS my fault.

Women who report rape aren’t evil; just as long as they’re telling the truth and it wasn’t their own fault.

And, sadly, most of the time they ARE either lying or it WAS their own fault.

Only 8% of “rapes” are actually “stranger rapes.”

That in itself means that 92% of the claims by women that they WERE raped are just LIES.

And even when a “rape” case comes to court, 95% of the time the defendant is found NOT guilty.

The reasons are always the same – either the woman was deliberately LYING about it or else it was HER fault that it happened.

If that’s the case then IMO it’s NOT the MAN who should get punished; it’s the WOMAN.

That’s how I see it, anyway.

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